The Boy from Tupelo
by streakie257
Summary: “Danny, I’m gone.” Like the buffalo That boy from Tupelo The old wall down in Jericho Maybelle on the radio I’ll be gone like the five and dime It’ll be the perfect crime Just ask the boy from Tupelo He’s the king and he oughta know. DL Oneshot.


The Boy from Tupelo

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Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY or the song 'The Boy from Tupelo'. The former is CBS's the latter is Emmylou Harris's song from her album Red Dirt Girl. … Oh and as a head's up I use two bad words, they're small but mighty.

AN: I was feeling particularly angsty and made the mistake of watching the CSI episode where we find out Danny was shtopping Ricki and so this was born. I really love Emmylou Harris's use of words and this song I find really showcases her skill. FYI the boy from Tupelo is Elvis.

* * *

_You don't love me this I know  
__Don't need a Bible to tell me so  
__I hung around a little too long_

Lindsay Monroe slowly slid the picture out of her Tiffany's silver frame, a splurge on the part of her mother as a housewarming gift. Tiffany's was just so New York and Lindsay would be that way too. But her nickname at work was Montana. The original photo in the frame was that of her grandparent's ranch, a pastoral scene of wheat fields and barns. She'd thought that by putting the picture she now held in her hands over it she'd move from a country girl to a city girl. The picture was that of her, much happier than she was now, and a man named Danny Messer. Mr. New York. Being with him she thought the transition would happen. Looking at it now, if the pain in her heart was what it meant to be a New Yorker she'd stay a country mouse.

For a time she had been very happy with Danny, there was a touch of Tragedy about them, her past and his past weren't all peaches in cream, and sorrow came with their jobs. But in a brief time things went from a generally pleasant existence to despair. It started when a bodega was robbed. The owner shot at the thief who'd assaulted her brother; the bullet didn't hit the robber, but a nine year old boy. A kid named Ruben whom Danny was very close too. The boy died. Danny was understandably broken up, he'd been with Ruben when he was shot and felt extremely guilty. Lindsay understood a thing or two about guilt but he didn't want her sympathy, he didn't want her support and as time wore on he didn't want her company. He pushed her away, and she let him – for a while, thinking it was his way of grieving. When she tried to move on, get back in his life she found that she was gone from it. Had been for a while. He and Ruben's mother had comforted each other – in bed.

_I was good but now I'm gone  
__Like the buffalo  
__That boy from Tupelo  
__Any way the wind can blow  
__That's where I'm gunna go  
__I'll be gone like the five and dime  
__It'll be the perfect crime  
__Just ask the boy from Tupelo  
__He's the king and he oughta know_

She went home and went through the stages of grief; denial - she'd been mistaken, it was just one of Danny's unfunny jokes, anger - he DID NOT fuck around on her, bastard! Bargaining – if she let this one time slid he'd never do it again… Depression – she'd cried all day once she got home from work; she just curled up in sweats and sobbed keeping the apartment dark and her music all sad. She was now in Acceptance, it was only now did she trust herself to de – Danny her house. She'd packed up a small moving box that she'd intended to take over to his place, back when they were happy together – having sex and having conversations. She had a few changes of clothes, some toiletries and movies she couldn't believe he didn't have. She'd unpacked that and replaced it with items he'd left at her place, his tooth brush, his hair gel, some of his clothes, what he considered entertainment. She'd also put the pictures of them in it. She wanted to cut them up and burn them, try out the voodoo every middle school girl thought would work when it came to relationships, but she knew it wouldn't make her feel better in the long run. It was also a sort of reminder of how happy they looked and how he'd destroyed that. The picture she'd been currently staring at with unseeing eyes was the last of their sheared items in her apartment. It was taken at a neighborhood baseball game they'd watched. She put it in the box and put the lid on, she'd wrap it up and take the box of memories to the post office tomorrow - she wanted a seamless and impersonal transition. It would be best, at least best with her. Danny was trying to talk to her about it; she didn't want to talk about it now… or ever. It was over. It'd been over for a while she realized but he kept trying – talking to her, flirting, playing on the fact that they traded words so easily, she couldn't be rid of him at the lab and she knew that even when the box got shipped off his memory would still be in apartment. And it'd be in her. She couldn't escape it, but she needed to. She needed to get away.

She had a fair number of vacation days saved and as soon as she got all her loose ends tied up she'd take them. Although thanks to him going home was out, she was rid of the guilt knowing that the trial had put that monster away for a good long time. But Danny's memory was out there, it wasn't just her family anymore. He'd been in Montana, stayed at her house, gone to her hang outs, infiltrated her safe places. And her mother didn't know about the break up, telling her would be too hard – this acceptance was still new and Lindsay didn't want to slip back into depression, especially on her vacation away from him.

She could perhaps visit friends; she had a few good College buddies that had open invitations for whenever she got a chance to come. One lived in Eugene, Oregon, a psychiatrist she had some biting theories on why men cheated, although Lindsay suspected that her husband was a subconscious model for the ideas. Her friend didn't know it, but Lindsay was pretty sure the husband was having an affair. She was glad that she'd never liked the guy. Another friend lived in the Twin Cities; she was a lawyer and had balls of steel. She'd hop the first flight to the city and personally kick Danny's ass, although standing five six in four inch Manolos the dressing down would have to be verbal. It'd still be painful though, Lindsay loved her Minnesotan's way with words, she could cut down the strongest man with a few choice bobs and an arch of a brow. Her third close friend lived in Philadelphia, she was happily married to a cute but mouse-ish CPA, they had a young son whom Lindsay loved to spoil. Her friend was an artist and would have her channel all of her emotions into another activity – to put all of the anger and pain on canvas was to release it and find an inner piece. Going to Philly would be the closest thing to Nirvana Lindsay could get on Earth.

_The shoulder I've been leanin' on  
__Is the coldest place I've ever known  
__There's nothing left for me round here  
__Looks like it's time to disappear_

But no matter what place she went for support she'd have to return to New York eventually. Part of her just wanted to transfer, leave entirely. Chicago had a good department, she could go to Denver and start skiing again… but her father's voice in her head reminded her that Monroes 'never give up and never back down' giving up when things were a little rough would never do. She also reminded herself of the fact that Mac had hand picked her for this position and that he relied on her. And aside from Danny she liked it in New York and she liked the people that she worked with. These people were her friends and she couldn't flake on them because of a broken heart. Especially since she'd relied heavily on Stella and Don when she was going through some of her emotions. She used to rely on Danny and with out him she'd been adrift as to where her head should lay, that was when Stella stepped in, helping her through the depression and the anger. Don took her out so she wouldn't die in her apartment alone, and so she would remember that other people found her valuable. His sense of humor had been a great help. It took one to pull of some of the ties he wore but once she spent time with him she found that he was more than a gag kind of guy, his wit was actually quite sharp. But even with the friends and the job she still wanted to be gone, the vacation would have to do. She finished wrapping the box and picked up the phone and dialed,

"_Hello?_"

"Hey, I've got some vacation time coming up, are you free this next week?"

_Like the buffalo  
__That boy from Tupelo  
__The old wall down in Jericho  
__Maybelle on the radio  
__I'll be gone like the five and dime  
__It'll be the perfect crime  
__Just ask the boy from Tupelo  
__He's the king and he oughta know_

After squaring up her vacation plans Lindsay took out a sharpie from the pen holder under her phone and began address the box to Danny, his address burned into her memory. She wrote neatly, trying to betray nothing, each letter had to be impartial even though they were far from it. They were letters that at one time she'd thought would make up her future. She'd fallen in love with him and had hoped that he'd loved her as well. And now she'd have to try and fall out of love with him. Sex and the City once told her that it took exactly half the time spent with the man to get over him. But it didn't say if that was half of the actual relationship time or the whole time you'd know the guy. She'd known Danny for a couple of years now. And it also didn't discuss how the time was affected by constant exposure to him. The prognosis wasn't good with or without additional variables. The future was looking very different now. However deep down Lindsay knew that while this would always be with her the pain would ease, she'd get through it eventually. It was just that waiting till 'eventually' might kill her. Especially thinking about all the 'could have beens'. She was going to need to come up with some new 'what ifs'.

_You don't love me this I know  
__Don't need the bible to tell me so  
__It's a shame and it's a sin  
__Everything I coulda been to you_

She finished addressing the box and put it back by the door, this time it was there to remind her to go to the post office, not his apartment. She moved back to the kitchen to make dinner for one, knowing that the bitterness of that statement would lessen in time. For now she was Melancholy Baby, later she'd be normal. The phone rang, it was him. She could only pray that it was work related.

"Lindsay." He breathed, her heart reacted just the same as it always did, her brain couldn't control it. "Please, just let me talk to you… I know… I know that…" he began, truly sounding pained, she didn't want to talk to him, she just couldn't…

"Danny, I'm gone." She told him and then hung up. To move on she'd have to go. To him she'd have to be….

_Your last change Texaco  
__Your sweetheart of the rodeo  
__A Juliet to your Romeo  
__The border you cross into Nexico  
__I'll never understand why or how  
__Oh but baby it's too late now  
__Just ask the boy from Tupelo  
__He's the king and he oughta know_


End file.
